Genesis 15:1-3
After this, the word of the Lord came to Abram in a vision:
“Do not be afraid, Abram.
I am your shield,
your very great reward.”
But Abram said, “Sovereign Lord, what can you give me since I remain childless and the one who will inheritmy estate is Eliezer of Damascus?” And Abram said, “You have given me no children; so a servant in my household will be my heir.”
What a way to start a prayer. What a brazen question to throw at God. What a plot twist after the end of chapter 14, going from Abram saying he will accept nothing, as he promised God, to a pleading to the Lord in these verses.
I mean, have you ever just laid it out there for God? Have you ever said it like it is? Even if “like it is” is only how it is to you? Who would dare to talk to God like this? Nobody would think this is actually acceptable…right?
Wrong. There’s something beautiful and simple and winsome in Abram’s prayer. We hear his heart. He lets us into his deepest desire. And that is something we’re not always sure how to hold.
Desire can be tough theologically. I don’t think it has to be, but it’s hard to have conversations with a lot of spiritual leaders and bare our hearts in this way. It’s hard to express unmet desires when you’re more likely to hear “Maybe that’s not what God wants for you” than, “I think you should argue with the Lord and see where that goes.” It’s hard to hear “You need to have faith in HIS plans, not yours” when you genuinely believe your plans and His plans aren’t that different.
This is also one of the places where many start to point at Abram’s doubt or disbelief. I’ve heard it in sermons, I’ve read it in Bible studies, I’ve seen it in dramas. This isn’t a story about doubt, it’s a story about process. It’s a story about Abram genuinely trying to get on board and see God’s hand and promise in his everyday life. We know this because nowhere in the following verses does God rebuke or chastise Abram. It’s ok to work out your faith in words and prayer. It’s ok to process out the promises and purposes when you can’t see it. It’s ok to let those deep desires out in the open with God. He knows them already. He planted some version of them within you. And it’s ok to start that prayer the same way that Abram did. It’s not doubt at all.
Reflect:
On the turns and shifts in your life. On the places and times that you’ve wondered or questioned God.
Journal:
On the desires you keep deep inside and their holy origins and purposes.
Pray:
Your own process. Have the honest, authentic conversation with God that you’ve wanted to have for weeks, or months, or years. Begin your prayer the same way that Abram did.